Saturday, October 9, 2010

Cleaning house....

Do You Realize? Oil on Canvas 30 x 24 inches 2010

Today is my Birthday, but it dosn't feel like any other birthday I've had. I had a great breakfast, then ended up spending $50 on the kinds of things I usually deny myselft, that was facilitated by a gift card from a friend. I came home and lit some incense and started cleaning, something I should do a little more often since my favorite cooking style is from the Fred Flintstone school, ie: a juicy steak in a cast iron skillet. So I wiped away a couple of month's worth of airborne steak fat and my mind started to wander and I got to thinking about making my own happiness and how that comes into being. I guess the first step is thinking of yourself and others as equals, and paying special attention to your own needs and wants and either take care of them for yourself or verbalize them to others and if you can't talk about your most important wants and desires with your intimates, maybe it's time to find some new intimates.

I know that there are no guarantees but that dosn't mean I should lose faith. That everything lasts as long as it's meant to and when it dosn't feel that way that's because I havn't fully learned the lessons I was supposed to be learning.

I know I'll have more trials and hopefully I can accept them as a confirmation that my happiness comes from within.

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