Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I went out Christmas shopping after work yesterday with my friend Sean. I had always avoided the Marc Jacobs store but he had to look for some gifts there, to my delight they were taking holiday pictures, so they did this of me and Brandy the ice queen, gorgeous huh?
Saturday, November 27, 2010
When you grow up in Minnesota you learn how to skate before you can even walk, it's really just second nature to me.Since I got new skates for my birthday I've been going skating in Bryant park 3 times a week, I usually get there first thing in the morning and it's free...another reason to love winter
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I certainly have a lot to be thankful for, today and always. I appreciate that more and more every day. Last year at this time my thoughts were on a place far away from here and a time in the future. I had a solo show up at a great gallery here in NYC and lots of great friends to be with, it was a really good time for me but I wasn't really focused on where my feet were.
A lot of the worthless things and noncommittal people that took up so much space in my life a year ago just aren't there anymore. I'm focusing more on the present and being happy with what I have. It's like I was a cat that was being taunted with a toy and I was constantly reaching for the vague indifferent promises that were being dangled in front of me. Some of the people that I placed so much value on had all kinds of vague commitments somewhere else so they were unable to just show up and be present. I had a lot of people in my life who were sort of keeping me around as an option, but then I stopped reaching for these vague promises of somewhere, sometime and looked at where I was and what was around me and realized, I had enough, I had MORE than enough. There were tons of opportunities and options right there in front of me. I was surrounded by so many people who cared about me and were only too willing to commit to a place and time and show up and be present and engaged, to open up and share everything they had inside, thoughts, feelings and insecurities....and to listen to mine and really care, all that was there all along .....right there in front of me but I didn't see it. I'm thankful for the lessons I've been taught and I hope to keep learning for a very long time.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
There is a great show up at Moma right now called Abstract Expressionist New York. It's culled entirely from MoMA's collection and it gives them the opportunity to show many of the so called Minor works from the leser known artists of this school, such as William Baziotes (above). Highly recommended!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I love this series, there's something so great about hearing people just say what used to have to be a secret, it becomes much less of an issue, it shouldn't really be one at all and the more people who just come out and say it, the less of an issue it becomes.
I've seen some pretty great changes in my lifetime and this is definatly one of them.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I spent saturday up in midtown enjoying the 60 degree weather, first skating for a couple of hours at Bryant park which was awesome then off to Haunch of Venison in Rockefeller center for their Peter Saul show "Firty Years of Painting". A huge rambling show that felt a lot like a museum survey. I have to admit I was really only familiar with the cartoony surrealist paintings he did in the 70's and 80's and didn't exactly love them but could see how they were influential to the current generation of painters, and I loved seeing the sketches that he does in the sign in books when he and his wife go around to see gallery shows in NYC.
The works that really blew me away in this show though were his paintings from the early sixties, they seemed to be coming out of the same cauldron as Guston and Johns and even reminded me of some of Warhol's earlier canvases when he was still keeping the drips in.
There is a ton of work in this show and the views from the windows are amazing palate cleansers for the punch of these amazing paintings.
More info can be found here
Friday, November 5, 2010
I loved reading this post from a blogger called "Cop's Wife" called "My Son Is Gay"
......Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you.
I have gone back and forth on whether I wanted to post something more in-depth about my sweet boy and his choice of Halloween costume. Or more specifically, the reactions to it. I figure if I’m still irked by it a few days later, I may as well go ahead and post my thoughts.
Here are the facts that lead up to my rant:
1. My son is 5 and goes to a church preschool.
2. He has loved Scooby Doo since developing the ability and attention span to sit still long enough to watch it.
3. Halloween is a holiday and its main focus is wearing a costume.
4. My son’s school had the kids dress up, do a little parade, and then change out of costumes for the rest of the party.
5. Boo’s best friend is a little girl
6. Boo has an older sister
7. Boo spends most of his time with me.
8. I am a woman.
9. I am Boo’s mother, not you.
So a few weeks before Halloween, Boo decides he wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo, along with his best friend E. He had dressed as Scooby a couple of years ago. I was hesitant to make the purchase, not because it was a cross gendered situation, but because 5 year olds have a tendency to change their minds. After requesting a couple of more times, I said sure and placed the order. He flipped out when it arrived. It was perfect.
Then as we got closer to the actual day, he stared to hem and haw about it. After some discussion it comes out that he is afraid people will laugh at him. I pointed out that some people will because it is a cute and clever costume. He insists their laughter would be of the ‘making fun’ kind. I blow it off. Seriously, who would make fun of a child in costume?
And then the big day arrives. We get dressed up. We drop Squirt at his preschool and head over to his. Boo doesn’t want to get out of the car. He’s afraid of what people will say and do to him. I convince him to go inside. He halts at the door. He’s visibly nervous. I chalk it up to him being a bit of a worrier in general. Seriously, WHO WOULD MAKE FUN OF A CHILD IN A COSTUME ON HALLOWEEN? So he walks in. And there were several friends of mine that knew what he was wearing that smiled and waved and gave him high-fives. We walk down the hall to where his classroom is.
And that’s where things went wrong. Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.
And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.
My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.
Another mom pointed out that high schools often have Spirit Days where girls dress like boys and vice versa. I mentioned Powderpuff Games where football players dress like cheerleaders and vice versa. Or every frat boy ever in college (Mom A said that her husband was a frat boy and NEVER dressed like a woman.)
But here’s the point, it is none of your damn business.
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.
But it also was heartbreaking to me that my sweet, kind-hearted five year old was right to be worried. He knew that there were people like A, B, and C. And he, at 5, was concerned about how they would perceive him and what would happen to him.
Just as it was heartbreaking to those parents that have lost their children recently due to bullying. IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it ‘concern.’ Those women were trying to bully me. And my son. MY son.
It is obvious that I neither abuse nor neglect my children. They are not perfect, but they are learning how to navigate this big, and sometimes cruel, world. I hate that my son had to learn this lesson while standing in front of allegedly Christian women. I hate that those women thought those thoughts, and worse felt comfortable saying them out loud. I hate that ‘pink’ is still called a girl color and that my baby has to be so brave if he wants to be Daphne for Halloween.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
I hope I am doing that.
And my little man worked that costume like no other. He rocked that wig, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
..at a time when gay kids are comitting suicide because people like Carl Paladino are publicly saying that "They should be ashamed for who they are" it's nice to read a blog post from a Mom who says she dosn't care if her son is or isn't.
I know a big barrier for a lot of kids is that they are worried that their family might shun them or worse if they come out to them so they feel they have to choose between their family and their own sense of self fullfillment. It's nice to know this kid won't feel he has to make that choice.
You can check out her blog here