Sunday, April 18, 2010
Data Dates (Computer love 2 )
When I first got a computer, in 2000...it was actually the day that my Boyfriend Bill moved to Boston, he gave me his old one and said "Check out The Cruising For sex website" So I instantly got online and started cruising and the next day I had my first hookup! I had found Computer Love! In an interesting aside i recently came across that across that same guy, using the same photos from 1999...I briefly considered going there again but....some memories are best not tampered with. I already had a digital camera, it was the size of a Walkman, but I think cellphones were too then. Anyway I started experimenting with self portraits...it was fun and easy, I'd do some shots then post them online or send them out to the guys in the chat rooms, some got no responses and some got tons so I kept refining my look so I could replicate over and over the kind of looks that got the best responses...and I had a LOT of sex...many of which were pretty much meaningless hookups, but nonetheless I had a lot of them. I figured out how to be desirable! Yay! That satisfied me, for a while. But then a boyfriend came along who wanted monogamy and strangely enough, when I thought about it, I did too. What a relief actually, i didn't have to concern myself with looking "Hot" and I came to accept myself more for who I was rather than for who others wanted me to be. I dress nicely and people compliment me on it I got some unique glasses and people in the check out line smile at me, strangers in bars point to them and give a thumbs up...it's all pretty amazing, I can be me and people will still like me! So how to translate all of this to the cold, hard stat and photo based computer world, that was my mission.
I looked at the postings on Big Muscle Bears, Bear World, Manhunt...etc etc and looked at my postings there and, yeah, I had figured out how to fit in, I used the photos where I almost looked like I could be mistaken for a guy in a standard porno photo shoot! Wow, how did that happen and how can i replicate that good day, or angle of light, or placement of my hands or whatever it was that made that happen....I took out the photos that showed some kind of personality and yup, got more hits! I was popular! I fit in! Yay! I was dancing as fast as I could ! But that got pretty old and I realized I had to be that person when I showed up oops, that wasn't much fun.
So i started taking a different approach. In addition to my stats and the phrase "Workout 5 times a wk" I started doing a little bit of real heartfelt writing, I put in things like "I'm not too concerned with how often you go to the gym" and "age and looks irrelevant, attitude is" and all of a sudden I got a whole different batch of responses. Instead of pictures of a pretty dick or torso and a list of stats followed by "Into?" I got face pictures and real sentences and paragraphs and people saying how nice it was to come across someone who seemed like a real human being instead of a one dimensional cardboard cutout. I've even met some of these guys and had some great times,not as many as before but I'll take quality over quantity any day.