Saturday, March 30, 2013

Post Brain Sugery

A friend asked me if I was ok, if my brain was back to normal and I'm not sure if my brain was ever really normal....(JK) but Im ok, actually I never really had a problem, just a mild headache since the fall.  Ive been fine throughout all of this, going to work every day and being very productive...there have been limitations on going to the gym and Ive totally lost my taste for alcohol. So I've stopped going to bars and I do kind of  miss the socializing and the hanging with DJ friends, the discussions about music, the flirting and making out that's so easy to do when drinking. I have some people I considered really good friends that I just don't see anymore but I'll just have to figure out ways to transition, it's just another stage of life I guess and it's ok, it's interesting really.

I havn't had any alcohol in 3 months and I have to say, I'm feeling a lot more feelings and that's pretty cool. I don't think I realized it at the time but in the past I'd get a little sad or depressed and then I'd look at the clock and think "Happy Hour". I had some friends that I loved seeing and they could always get my mind off whatever negative thoughts I might be thinking.

So now those thoughts come and I deal with them. It's not that big a deal, just part of life really. These kinds of thoughts used to seem really scary to me....thoughts like "....Does anyone else really know me?, can we ever really know another human being? Can I truly empathize with her pain?......" thoughts like that used to really scare me and kind of throw me into a nihilistic tailspin, now I find it easier to accept that that's just part of life, it makes it worth living really

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